This month is my anniversary. You might be thinking, “Wait, I thought you weren’t married”—and you would be correct. I’m not. What I’m referring to is my first Star Trek convention.
You might be thinking, “Yeah, yeah, you already told us that you’re a big nerd and that you go to Star Trek conventions,” and you would be correct. But I didn’t tell you what was so special about my first Star Trek convention. Let me tell you the story.
A few months earlier, I had just had my 30th birthday. This was eight years ago, and some might say it was an early midlife crisis, but all I can tell you is I thought to myself, I just turned 30 and I haven’t really traveled much or done anything by myself.
So I decided to plan a trip to Las Vegas. For me, this takes a little extra planning because I need a little more assistance than the average person. I knew the hardest part of planning this trip would be finding someone to go with me. I knew I didn’t want someone around me 24/7 because I wanted as much independence as possible.
It took some planning, but I found somebody to assist me on the trip. I told them I didn’t want them around me all the time—that I would call or text them when I needed something. Of course, I paid them. They basically got a free Vegas trip. Now to me, that’s a pretty good deal.
Keep in mind, before this trip I almost always had someone around me to help. I hardly ever had time by myself. This was the first time that I would be by myself—basically, for the first time in my life, I had real independence. It was amazing.
The Las Vegas convention was at the Hilton Hotel. It’s a big venue, and I went all around the hotel to the different convention events by myself. I called or texted my caregiver if I needed anything. I went dancing, and I met some fantastic people—and the people I met? We’re still friends to this day.
There were a bunch of my friends who told me I shouldn’t do it. I shouldn’t go by myself, but I am so glad I did. It made me more confident to do things on my own. I arranged the whole thing by myself. It’s one of the highlights of my life.
I encourage everyone—maybe it makes you nervous to take a trip by yourself, disability or no disability. But maybe you do have a disability. Is it possible for you to do a trip by yourself with some assistance? Everyone is different, so everyone has to decide for themselves what is best for them. But especially if you have a disability, it’s important to be as independent as you possibly can. It will not only boost your confidence—but disability or no disability—everyone has the right to live their own life and have their own experience.
When I tell people what I did—went to Vegas by myself—they are surprised.
“How did you do that?” they ask.
Then I explain what I did and how I did it, and they’re surprised that I was able to pull it off. They say they would’ve been overwhelmed if they had to do something like that.
For me, it wasn’t overwhelming. Yes, I was a little nervous—because it was my first trip by myself. That’s natural. But people are surprised that I did all of it by myself: planned the trip, organized everything. I just did what I had to do.
Now, that trip would not have been possible without my friend Claire, who was willing to go with me and assist with what I needed help with.
Thank you very much, my friend. If you read this—you helped me become more independent, and I will be forever grateful for that.
And of course, to my mom—who taught me that you may have to go about things in a different way, but don’t be afraid to go after your goals in life, despite your circumstances. And as you can imagine, yes—my mom was nervous about this whole thing! But it changed my life for the better.
After that, I got my first girlfriend. And I think that’s because the trip gave me more confidence in myself. Who knows?
So I encourage everyone, no matter who you are: go outside your comfort zone. You might just change your life for the better.
Until next month, my friends—be kind and be loving to one another, and pay it forward.
Live long and prosper 🖖